What I never knew I always wanted

My first born turns 5 today! I cannot believe that I have been someone’s mother for that long, ha! I can’t believe my little girl, my first born is not a toddler anymore. She is a little girl!!!!!! It’s awesome to see her grow but sad all at the same time. You really remember so much from your first born because it’s all such a new experience. I usually go all out on her birthdays because ever since I became a mother and learned that kind of love (which is so indescribable). I feel like each year should be a grand celebration of another year with that little angel! It is such a blessing to have a healthy child, but you almost don’t truly realize that until you become a mommy. I am so blessed with both of my little gifts from heaven. If I have ever doubted myself in anything or never had enough pride in any talent or dreams I may not have chased… one thing is for sure. I know and am so certain with confidence that I am a great mother. It seriously was my calling! There are really not very many things I’m good at, at all. (Not joking) But I know I am a great mommy and so that is why the song “What I never knew I always wanted”(by Carrie Underwood) is SO relatable to me! Especially because I remember my first pregnancy (that I unfortunately miscarried) not being as excited as I should have been. Of course I was happy and yes I actually was excited, at least I thought I was. But there was a part of me that wasn’t sure because it was my husband who wanted to start a family first. And so I was more on the “wanted to wait as long as I could” train. I thought I would be just fine waiting till I was closer to 35. So when I was pregnant that first time at 27 years old,  I was also worried about my whole life changing and I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t want to be responsible for someone else.

Long story short – I realized I wanted it more than I knew I did once it was taken away from me when I miscarried. So I obsessed about getting pregnant again and again until eventually I was pregnant with my Milania. Therefore she, and motherhood all around is legitimately “what I never knew I always wanted” 🙂

Im sharing some birthday pics from all the years past. I am always so excited and proud of her birthdays to celebrate big! This year since 5 is a milestone I did not do a together birthday with my son, so she had a smaller intimate special birthday with only 5 close friends of ours and hers! I don’t have those professional pics just yet, I will post when I do 😉

1st Birthday Princess Party

 

 

Milania’s Clubhouse Party

  

 

Disney Princess Party

    

Mickey And the Roadster Racers Party

   

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